Parenting Your ADHD Child
Building the skills you need to help your child build the skills he/she needs
Berney J Wilkinson, Ph.D.
Richard M Marshall, Ph.D.
If you found this page, you are probably searching for a way to improve your parenting skills. You probably have a child with ADD/ADHD and you are frustrated with some of the limitations you have found in your ability to manage his/her behaviors.
Whether it is due to homework hassles or his inability to follow directions, your frustration is starting to show.
The unfortunate reality is that your frustration is understandable! Having a child with ADHD taxes even the most seasoned parent. Techniques used by some parents are completely ineffective with your child. Rules easily learned by some children, seem to pass right through your child - in one ear and out the other. Tried and true parenting strategies just do not seem to work.
You do know enough to know that change is needed…
And fast. Like many parents in your situation, as each day passes, you feel more and more frustrated, more and more overwhelmed, and more and more exhausted.
You probably ask yourself, “How much more of this can I take?” In fact, you may have already resorted to punishment techniques (i.e., spanking) that you always told yourself you would avoid. But just like all the other old school strategies you have tried, a good ole fashioned butt whooping didn’t change a thing!
When the going gets tough…
We have heard it hundreds of times before. Parents work hard to be structured and consistent, only to find themselves becoming overwhelmed and giving in. They do not give in because they want to, they give in because they are exhausted and feel as though it is the only way to find peace.
As you can well imagine, this creates problems. Inconsistent parenting, leads to inconsistent child behaviors. Consider this for a moment. If you are nine years old, and you really want to play Xbox, and you know that if you ask your mom 25 times to play she will say, “No.” But if you think that asking her one more time could mean that she says, “Yes,” what would keep you from asking again? Sure she may say it with exasperation. Sure she may be aggravated. But who cares? You get to play Xbox!
When we are inconsistent, our children - even children with ADHD - quickly learn how far they can push to get what they want. And after all, from their perspective, why not push to the limit if it gets them what they want?
Why does it have to be this way?
The short answer is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t have to be like this. However, there are some pretty important reasons why it is.
We have been working with children and families for a very long time. In all of our years of experience, though, we can - collectively - count on one hand the number of children we have met who were determined to be bad. Children who looked for every opportunity to anger their parents and frustrate anyone in authority.
All of the other hundreds - if not thousands - of children we have worked with want to be good. Let me say that again… They want to be good.
So, your natural question, then, is why aren’t they?
There are three reasons. Three factors that come together in just such a way as to result in what you experience every day.
One factor is Biology. Think about it. You have likely seen your child try his hardest to stay in his seat. He has put forth his best effort to stay next to you in the grocery store. But something compels him. No, something drives him to move and be active. The biology and chemistry of children with ADHD are different. While those differences are not diagnostic (meaning we cannot put your child through a brain scanner or draw blood to make the diagnosis), there are consistent patterns in the brains of people with ADHD. They simply work differently. Not broken. Just different.
Another factor is Psychology. Children with ADHD often think differently. While there is an overlap between the psychological component and the biological component, the simple fact is that children with ADHD are novelty seeking. They are constantly in search of excitement and stimulation. Children with ADHD will tell you… reading is boring! Sitting still is boring! They need stimulation and they are constantly searching for something to get their brain going.
The third factor is Social. As we already discussed, inconsistent, chaotic environments do nothing but keep children with ADHD revved up. Because they are stimulation seeking, they tend to feed off of their environment. You have no doubt seen this on many occasions. Take your ADHD child to a park or an arcade and you will see how the energy in the environment seems to magnify their behavior.
So what does this course help with?
Great question! This course walks you through the process of establishing order in your home. Step-by-step, you will regain confidence in your ability to maintain control over your home and shape your child’s behavior in a more desirable direction. Along with many other things, through this course you will learn:
- What ADHD is from the biological, psychological, and social perspectives
- How ADHD symptoms change as your child ages
- The risks and benefits of medications for ADHD
- The limitations of the behavioral model of parenting
- The three pillars to parenting children with ADHD - Consistency, Predictability, and Immediacy
- How to build routines
- How to effectively use tried and true parenting techniques with the ADHD child
- How lifestyle choices - Diet, Exercise, and Sleep - affect children with ADHD
- and much more…
Watch our course trailer:
Each lesson will focus on a different aspect of parenting your ADHD child. While the first half of the course lessons are primarily informational, the remaining lessons will take some time to explore and implement. As such, it is important that you consider taking your time with the lessons found in Unit 4. Based upon your individual situation, you may need to spend one, two, or even three weeks on a particular lesson to make sure you get it right for your family. And that is fine! Take the time you need to ensure that you are capable to implementing the strategies. It is critical that you do not rush through the process, as that will certainly limit the benefits you experience with the course.
Here is a breakdown of what you can expect from the course.
Unit 1: What You are Dealing With - This Unit is comprised of three lessons, each focusing on a different aspect of ADHD, as a psychological/medical condition. While Lesson 1 reviews the behaviors that result in the diagnosis itself, Lesson 2 focuses on the biological bases of ADHD. Lesson 3 explores the relationships between ADHD and parenting, lifestyle, and education.
Lesson 1: Behavioral Presentation
Lesson 2: Genetics, Heritability, and The Brain
Lesson 3: Environmental Causes
Unit 2: Developmental Course - Unit 2 includes three lessons and explores the ways in which ADHD symptoms evolve as the child develops. Beginning in preschool and ending in adolescence, these lessons provide you with a strong foundation for understanding the reasons why symptoms of ADHD change over time, thus requiring different approaches by the parent.
Lesson 4: Preschool
Lesson 5: School Aged
Lesson 6: Adolescence
Unit 3: Medical Treatments - This Unit is comprised of three lessons, covering the most common first-line treatment for ADHD - medication. The Unit begins with an overview of the history and current use of medications with ADHD. The remaining lessons focus on the two broad categories of medications used with ADHD, Stimulants and Non-Stimulants. The purpose of these lessons is to help you understand why medications are used with ADHD, allowing you to make informed decisions regarding your child’s treatment.
Lesson 7: Introduction to Medications
Lesson 8: Stimulants
Lesson 9: Non-Stimulants
Unit 4: Non-Medical Treatments - The remaining lessons all fall within the Unit of non-medical treatments. This is what you are really purchasing this course for, effective strategies and perspectives to help you parent your ADHD child. At launch, this Unit consists of 11 lessons, but this number will grow. And what’s great about that? You will have full access to the ever growing library of lessons. Unit 4 begins with a discussion about the limitations of “traditional parenting techniques” for children with ADHD. You will end that first lesson with a solid understanding of why a different approach is needed for these children. The remaining lessons focus on specific strategies, perspectives, and considerations needed to effectively adjust and improve your ability to manage your ADHD child.
Lesson 10: An Introduction to Non-Medical Treatments
Lesson 11: Consistency-Predictability-Immediacy
Lesson 12: Routines
Lesson 13: Time-Out
Lesson 14: The 5-to-1 Ratio
Lesson 15: ADHD at the Supermarket
Lesson 16: Diet
Lesson 17: Exercise
Lesson 18: Sleep
Lesson 19: Video Games and Other Electronics
Lesson 20: Extracurriculars
So… Are you ready to begin?
The various steps of this course have been used with hundreds of families over the past decade. Traditionally, for parents to gain the information offered in this course, they would have participated in 10-15 therapy sessions with a mental health professional. That means parents often spend up to $1500 for the information offered in this course.
We designed this course to be self-initiated and self-monitored by you, the one motivated to create change in your home. Instead of weekly sessions with a psychologist, you will have access to all of the information provided during those sessions, along with the flexibility to follow the course at your own pace. You will have the opportunity to repeat steps as often as needed to ensure that you receive maximum benefit from the course.
So what are you waiting for? When you purchase this course you will get:
- Access to all 4 Units (20 lessons)
- A PDF outline for each lesson to help organize your notes and studying
- Access to forms, questionnaires, and assessment tools
- Access to the online parenting forum where you can connect to other families working through the course
- Access to additional materials, posted regularly, supporting the course and offering additional ideas and strategies
You can purchase access to this entire course for the cost of one therapy session - $100. No scheduling. No time off from work. You do the home-therapy on your time, at your pace, and in a way that works for you!
The one time fee of $100 offers you continued access to all of the information available in this course. However, if you feel that you need more help or support, we now offer a monthly subscription option. This subscription includes the entire course, as well as the ability to email Dr. Berney and Dr. Richard with specific questions pertaining to your implementation of the course. In addition, you will have the opportunity for a one time, one hour Skype session with either Dr. Berney and Dr. Richard to help implement the course and taylor it to your family.
If you choose to subscribe to the monthly course, you will register for either a six or twelve month commitment. And the monthly cost is less than one therapy session, $50 per month.
So, which would you prefer? The one time payment for the entire course and all the additional materials? Or the monthly option where, in addition to the entire course and additional materials, you will also have the ability to email Dr. Berney and Dr. Richard and have a one-time, one-hour Skype session to help with the implementation of the course? The choice is yours.
Change can begin today. Are you ready?